Thursday, February 26, 2009

 

If a dog were the teacher you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, Always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to Go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air

And the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest,

Practice obedience.

Let others know when they've

Invaded your territory.


Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily...


Thrive on attention and let people

Touch you.



Avoid biting when a simple growl

Will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your

Back in the grass.


On hot days, drink lots of water

And lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around

And wag your entire body.


No matter how often you're

Scolded, don't buy into the guilt

Thing and pout ... Run right back

And make friends.




Delight in the simple joy of a long

Walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Stop when you have had enough.




Be loyal. Never pretend to be

Something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig

Until you find it.

When someone is having a bad

Day, be silent, sit close by and

Nuzzle them gently.


-------
May your troubles be less, your

Blessings more,
And may nothing but happiness,

Come through your door

og

posted by Johnnie 9:16 AM

(0) comments

Sunday, February 22, 2009

 

As an old geezer I just made a list of things folks has about, or to me,
because I am old and just an't as swift as I should be. Now it is not
that they dislike me, they are mostly funing around.

But as I was putting this together, I couldn't help but think of some
cachers that some the things on the list, fit. LOL




1. He has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.



2. I would not allow this man to breed.



3. He has delusions of adequacy.



4. This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.



5. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.



6. The old guy has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.



7. This feller has been working with glue too much.



8. When your friend IQ reaches 50, he should sell.



9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.



10. If this guy were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.



11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this person beat out 1,000,000 others.



12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead...



og

Labels: funnie

posted by Johnnie 10:20 AM

(0) comments

Thursday, February 12, 2009

 

Old Geezer
Spicy Bloody Mary Mix

A little history:
Two years ago, I was drinking Diet Coke by the case.
My health and my doctors took me off them and ice tea.
I have been looking for something I could drink in place
of water, that was in turn is not bad for me.

I found I like Bloody Mary Mix without the vodka.

The following recipe is my own, and here is notes about it.
I made all the measures 4 Oz. so I can remember them.
For the worcestershire sauce I use 3 Oz. worcestershire and 1 Oz.
A1 steak sauce.
For the Hot sauces, I use a mix of my favorite sauces.
It makes the mix very hot and spicy
You may want to start with 2 oz hot sauce and go more or less for
personal taste.

The recipe:

46 oz Vegetable Juice,
4 oz Lemon Juice,
4 oz Worcestershire Sauce,
4 oz your favorite Hot Sauces,
1 tp Black Pepper.

Mix the the Lemon Juice, Worcestershire, Hot Sauce, and pepper
together, and add to the vegetable juice, mix well.

Refrigerate over night for all the ingredients to mix and set.
Shake well before using.

I drink it as is, but you may add 1 oz of vodka to 4 oz of mix
and add 2 ice cubes for a outstanding Spicy Bloody Mary

og

posted by Johnnie 6:51 PM

(4) comments

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

 

Henry, The Fifty Ford, with Sugar Loaf Mountain in the background.
If any of you have been star hopping, you will remember this steep little mountain near that pretty lake.

posted by Johnnie 2:32 PM

(1) comments

 

MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL.
'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'
YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN, THAT UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLED FACED,
FAT-ASSED,
GRAY-HAIRED,
DECREPIT
SON-OF-A-BITCH
ASKED,

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???

posted by Johnnie 8:50 AM

(0) comments

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

 

Shake Down
I took the 50 Ford (Henry) out for a shake down cruise today.
He really strutted he oats. That little flathead ran like a champ
for 250 miles up to Tn. and back.

A list of some the the places we drove.
Ellijay, Mineral Bluff, Farner, Delano, SOW, Hiawassee lake, Suger Loaf, Conasauga,
Chatsworth, and many more. Pictures to come later.

The Car got a little over 16 MPG today, which a lot better than the 10 MPG its gets around town. I can live with that, not bad at all.

This was a shake down in getting ready for a trip to Fl. this spring.

posted by Johnnie 6:59 PM

(0) comments

Friday, February 06, 2009

 

So now you are listening to TWO women??
Nope, just Annie!!!!

posted by Johnnie 7:19 PM

(2) comments

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

 

Last week, I was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and my wife was sitting by my side. My eyes fluttered open and I said, 'You're beautiful.' Then I fell asleep again.

My wife had never heard me say that before, so she stayed by my side. A few minutes later my eyes fluttered open and I said, 'You're cute.' My wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful,' it was now 'cute.'

She asked, 'What happened to beautiful?'

I replied, 'The drugs are wearing off.'

posted by Johnnie 9:47 AM

(3) comments