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Friday, May 28, 2004

 
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from
ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust
and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try
to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working
according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my
power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the
other hand, has got to be an
informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal
room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....

TeeHee



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Saturday, May 22, 2004

 
Yesterday I had micrograhic surgery on my forehead to remove a mole that had turned into skin cancer. They removed a place about the size of a quarter down to the skull. All went well.

I have never been shot, but I think I now know what the wound would feel like.



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Wednesday, May 12, 2004

 
this may be a rant for sure, but maybe not.
It is out.My latest cache. I have been working on for over five months. There was snow on the ground on one of the scouting trips. It begain with the building of containers, which I give up on. Then finding the right place to put it. That tooks endest miles of riding and looking. After a lot of searching I found a place for the cache and settled on a technique of placement. Then I spend hours writng the cache page. I was making a puzzle, that was not easy for me, because I don't like puzzles.
I would not hunt this cache, due to the puzzle. But it has a lovely mountain hike.

OppsAfter a day in the mountains putting out the cache and submitting it online, the approver found a typo in the coords. After a few emails between us I hope we got it worked out.

Watch for "The Real Empathy Zone.

should be online in the next 24 hours.




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Monday, May 10, 2004

 
A man went to the doctor suffering from severe headaches. After a thorough examination, the doctor
turned to him and said: "Jerry, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration." "You
have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates these serious headaches
you've been experiencing. So the only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Jerry was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but
decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he eventually left the hospital Jerry was pleasantly surprised at how good it felt not to have a
headache for the first time in 20 years, but he also knew that he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a fresh start and live a new life. He
saw a men's clothing store and thought to himself a new suit would be the perfect thing to mark this new beginning.
He entered the shop and told the salesman: "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said: "Let's see... size 44 long?"
"That's right, how did you know?" said Jerry, laughing.
"I've been in the business 60 years!" replied the tailor.
Jerry tried on the suit and it fitted like a glove. As Jerry admired himself in the mirror, the salesman
asked: "How about a new shirt?"
Jerry thought for a moment and then agreed.
The salesman eyed Jerry again.
"Let's see... 34 sleeve and 16-and-a-half neck?"
Once again, Jerry was surprised.
"That's right, how did you know?"
"Like I said, I've been in the business 60 years!"
So Jerry tried on the shirt, and it was a perfect fit. As Jerry adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked: "How about new
shoes?" Jerry was on a roll and so thought, why not?
So the salesman eyed Jerry's feet and said: "Let's see... you must be a size nine-and-a-half?"
Jerry was astonished. "That's right, how did you know?"
"Well, young fella, I've been in the business long enough to know these things!"
Jerry tried on the shoes and they were also a remarkable fit. Jerry walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked:
"So that only leaves the new underwear. How about it?"
Jerry thought for a second and agreed.
The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said: "Let's see... size 36."
Jerry laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head. "There's no way. I'm never wrong. You can't wear a size 34."
"Oh yes I can," replied Jerry and have been most of my life.
"I don't understand," said the tailor. "By my reckoning a 34 underwear would press your testicles up
against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."



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Monday, May 03, 2004

 
did I hear someone say geocaching. Oh yeah I'm still a caching. Just signed up for a new jeep today. I know I haven't loged any latey, but have a few things in the works. The Third annual Lacy event the first Saturday in October is in the planing stage and looks like it will be better than ever. We have some good help from some fellow cachers again this year. A lot more about later.

Also The Lacy Family have put their heads together to put a cache out this summer. We each came up with what we would like to do to create a classic cache. Then Allen had a brain storm of how we could combine it all into one cache. We believe it will be a classic for years to come. Stay tuned for that.

As for myself, I have been putting a very diabolic evil cache together for the pass
few months. I started in late Jan. I now have all the elements in place except the
ammo box. It is still setting here by the computer. I will place it in a few days. Then it will come online.

I may not be loging as many caches as I was, but I still geocaching full time.

The Lacy Cachers are going out on an over night hike shorty. Can't wait to see what we come up with from that.

I am riding the bicycle everyday that it don't rain. It looked like rain today so I'm not riding.




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Saturday, May 01, 2004

 
Joke for today

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've
heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your
fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger. "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.
"A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and
a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"



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