Friday, May 28, 2004

 

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from
ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust
and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try
to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working
according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the
event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my
power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the
other hand, has got to be an
informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal
room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....

TeeHee

posted by Johnnie 7:59 AM