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the end


 

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

 
OK I'm bored.
Looking for something to break up the boredom.
I don't play politics, I don't even vote, and have been told that I don't have
a say in it because I don't vote. I have never seen a candidate that I thought
could do the job as I would like to see it done. I am not a democrat or
republican. This not a rant, it is just something I found on the internet
while killing time.

We all have our disagreements with President Bush. Immigration, U.S.
Attorney firings, Iraq, Darfur, etc. are all hot topics these days. The
following "speech" was written yesterday by an ordinary Maineiac. While
satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective.
An excellent piece, by a person who does not write for a living,
sent with the author's permission.



The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give:



Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans." Not
doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more
than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and
that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.



I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a
lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or
something, let me assure you: there's been no breaking of laws or
impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up
because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world. Or
of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of
you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.



Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the
news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the
tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners including record
numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll
point out that minority business ownership is at an
all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the
Clinton Administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it
doesn't seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to
record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these
markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of
you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's
increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of
noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than
your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this "blood for oil" thing.
If I was trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields
and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this "Bush
Lied People Died" crap either. If I was the liar you morons take me for, I
could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they
could be discovered. Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence
was faulty. Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had
the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was
official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named Clinton
established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the
cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models
squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the
Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to outspend
and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if
they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they
weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But
they are. They want to kill you. And the bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the
United States since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got
no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement
and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this
whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult
fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult
fight amounts to a single season of Survivor.


Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through
the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should
last a few months, a few years. Making matters worse, you actively support
those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time
you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, well,
dammit, you might just as well FEDEX a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It
amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the
Internet. It just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News.
But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather
watch American Idol.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be
there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's
below sea level and has a hurricane approaching. I could say more about your
insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes
from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to
do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house
down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully
self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as
soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe
I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America
fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is your new
President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still
have a glimmer of hope that there're just enough of you remaining who are
smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America! Some of you know what I
mean!

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Comments:
I like George Carlin's view on voting.

"I don't vote. Two reasons. First of all it's meaningless; this country was bought and sold a long time ago. Secondly, I believe if you vote, you have no right to complain. People like to twist that around – they say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain', but where's the logic in that? If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. I, on the other hand, who did not vote, who in fact did not even leave the house on election day, am in no way responsible for what these people have done and have every right to complain about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with."
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