Friday, March 09, 2007

 

I'm not a mechanic.

I know some mechanics. Cooter, Lee Roy, Bubba, Billy Bob, and others, none of which went pass the the fifth grade.
They all worked on cars.

I too worked on cars, but not under the hood. If my car needed some attention under the hood I would do that, but not for other people, or for money. My thing was to made car look good. Looking good way past a Lee Roy wash job. I was a painter on Professional Cars.
I also painted Classic, Vintage, Collector, Antique, Historical Vehicles.
I don't like the title of Body Man either. So what is my title?
I don't have one.

I always like the name Engineer. But then the name Mechanical Engineer jumps up, plus them fellows have degrees.
I am some what mechanical but I'm not a auto machanic, you get the picture.

Back to the engineering thing. Here is a list of some of what I do when it come to working on automobiles:

assemble, bring about build up, compile cobble up, compose, compound, constitute, cook up, create, design, dream up, elevate, envision, erect, establish, fabricate, fashion, fit together, forge, form, formulate, found, frame, hammer out, hoke up, imagine, invent, jerry-build, knock out, make, manufacture, model, prefab, organize, produce, put together, put up, raise, rear, reconstruct, sculpture, set up, shape, throw together, throw up, trump up, uprear, whip up...

I have seen all of that under titles like:
car monkey, builder, contriver, designer, deviser, director, inventor, manager, manipulator, motorman, originator, planner, schemer, techie .

AND ALL OF THE ABOVE COMES UNDER ENGINEERING.

Am I an ENGINEER?


Understanding Engineers - Take One:

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
Graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
Graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The
Graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


Understanding Engineers - Take Two

To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Take Three

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a Particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept Golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with Him."
He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Four

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets

Understanding Engineers - Take Five

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, Minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Understanding Engineers - Take Six

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

Understanding Engineers - Take Seven

Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

I'm Done, good night Lee Roy!

posted by Johnnie 1:42 PM

Comments:

I thought an engineer was the guy that runs the train?

# posted by  Allen : 12:41 PM

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