Friday, May 26, 2006

 

THINGS THAT ONE OF MY LADY FRIENDS HAS TOLD AND DID AFTER DRINKING TOO MUCH

1. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE MY PURSE IS.

2. SHE BELIEVES THAT DANCING WITH HER ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING HER BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. I'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE I COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN MY LAST TRIP TO PEE, I REALIZE THAT I NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A
HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS I WAS JUST FOUR HOURS AGO

5. SHE WILL START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE SHE SEES THAT SHE LOVES THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

6. SHE WILL GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

7. I'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.

8. I'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

9. I YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO I BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

10. I THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN OR BATHROOM FLOOR.

11. I FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN I SIT ON IT.

12. SHE WILL TAKE HER SHOES OFF BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT SHE IS HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

posted by Johnnie 10:10 PM